Friday, August 29, 2008

BREAKING NEWS. Friday, August 29, 8:30 p.m.

Under mounting pressure to provide the American public a ticket with greater gender balance, Barack Obama announced tonight that Joe Biden has voluntarily withdrawn from the ticket so that Obama can offer the Democratic vice-presidential slot to Vanna White.

Obama noted that White has already served as "second in command" for more than a quarter-century in her capacity as the letter-turning sidekick to Pat Sajak on the perennial game-show favorite,
Wheel of Fortune. He described the show as a high-stakes, high-pressure environment in which White must deal daily with the triumph and tragedy of human striving. "We want women to realize," Obama added, "that their goal of shattering the political glass ceiling didn't have to die with Hillary Clinton's departure from the race. Besides," he added sotto voce, making sure Michelle was out of earshot, "if you haven't seen Vanna in a pantsuit, you haven't lived!"

Confronted by FOX News on her lack of experience in international diplomacy, White responded, "It's true, I don't have the type of experience that John McCain has, or Joe Biden, for that matter. But I'm very well-rounded, as you can see. And diplomacy begins with a D, I'm pretty sure, which is a letter I've turned a lot!" Asked to list her other qualifications to serve as vice president, she winked as she pointed out that her last name, "White," contains the word white.

Archly, Obama added, "And you know what? She can pronounce nuclear properly, which is more than you can say for Sarah Palin and the current occupant of the White House...."

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P.S. People
women especiallythis is satire. And in some respects, it's even self-parody. Take a chill pill, OK? I'm being nasty and I know it. For the record, I've given similar treatment to Obama in the past...and I was serious, at the time.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Steve don't apologize, that's a good one! Nice picture too!
-Carl

Cosmic Connie said...

I second Carl's opinion. And anyone who doesn't get that this piece was satire has no business reading this blog.

Anonymous said...

Question: Why is a vice president candidate supposed to be an expert on international diplomacy?
Answer: Only since the Democrat Presidential candidate is so inexperienced in anything resembling experience or accomplishments has this question come up.

If the press had spent 5% of the resources they squandered on Anna Nicole Smith coverage on exposing what exactly Obama was doing in Chicago over the past 15 years, then Hillary Clinton would now be our nominee. And now a man who has no executive-level experience has to insult a woman who has been a mayor, governor, and a small business owner.
How many women will Obama try to kick to the curb in this election?

RevRon's Rants said...

I'll chime in with C & C here, Steve. Of course, there will always be folks with "issues." Let them read what they will into your comments; just pray to the "Get-a-Grip" fairy for their deliverance into the land where humor reigns (or is at least allowed to live and breathe).

And to anonymous: She wasn't kicked to the curb. She L-O-S-T. Might win next go-round. And if you're going to whine about insults, you might keep in mind that she gave better and more than she got in that department.